The Art of Rock bottom, a personal story

By August 16, 2019Uncategorized

Do you know how to say: ‘not now!’? How to get back to zero? To recover and re energise? To pause when life getting is too much?

Most of the time life is keeping us busy, isn’t it? It’s a true art keeping balance while doing all that you want and need to do. To find your own balance. To speed up and to slow down. Yang Yin. Yin Yang.
Especially when there is a crisis in life, it can be the push over the edge. 

This happened to me.

Last year a dream came true: I was pregnant! The extreme joy and excitement changed within 4 months into a challenging journey where I had to let go of the dream. I gave birth to a very tiny boy. A child of the stars that would stay small and never grow up.
Although I was able to see the lessons that were there to gain in all the tears, anger and pain I forgot about one very important thing. To pause. To recharge. I slowed down but slowing down wasn’t enough. 

After months of trying to stay up, I had to give up. Surrender.
Allowing myself to fall. My body simply could not do any more.

Rock Bottom. 

For months it was a daily struggle where the fighter in me – my ego- was trying to get out of the web of being tired and feeling run down. My soul had to step in time and time again surrender a bit more. 

My body was the barometer. It showed me when I was battling again. Being very tired or a big headache started. I had to surrender even more to do nothing. Not knowing where this would go. Not trying to make any solution simply surrender over and over again. 

I learned to sit still, listen and do nothing.
Not having any judgement.
To do nothing.
Not going anywhere. 
Surrender to the big unknown.
Back to zero.

That’s where the key to recovery was presented. That’s where true healing started and energy slowly surely was coming back. 

Now -after 4 months- I can see while leaving the crisis behind the big lesson of surrendering over and over again to everything. Knowing that my body is my mirror, my heart my inner leader. They’re telling me how to get up my feet, not forcing anything but simply unfold. 
Back to zero, to log out completely helped me to unload and recharge. Getting me to where I am now: ready to step back into the world and helping others to do same.